Plato:
For the greater good.

Karl Marx:
It was ahistorical inevitability.

Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration,as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken’s dominion maintained.

Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road,and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll find out.

Timothy Leary:
Because that’s the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams:
Forty-two. Continue reading →